I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

“When it comes to friends, I’d rather have four quarters than 100 pennies.”

Al Capone

Not that I make it a habit to quote notorious gangsters, but Al was onto something with this little nugget. It’s been a favourite quote of mine for a while and it’s one that I’ve shared with my boys more than a couple of times. And it’s one that has become something of a mantra for me as I get older.

Maybe that’s because I’ve become more protective of my time because I see how quickly it passes. Maybe it’s because my tolerance for crap and drama are pretty much non-existent at 45. Or maybe it’s because I’ve recently lost one of my nearest and dearest friends and it has given me perspective and appreciation for those I love and who love me (that’s a whole other blog post for another day).

Don’t get me wrong – there are people in our lives who maybe aren’t part of our close circle but they are still amazing people to know. You can still be friends if you don’t talk regularly or see each other all the time. In fact, I firmly believe that the mark of a true friendship is when you can pick up exactly where you left off, no matter how much time has passed.

But then there are the friends who you couldn’t imagine not talking to regularly. These are the ones who reach out when you’re going through a tough time, the ones who make an effort to be present for all the important things in your life and the ones who celebrate your successes and your setbacks as if both were their own.

“Your circle should want to see you win. Your circle should clap loudly when you have good news. If not, get a new circle.”

Unknown

I am fortunate to have some really amazing friends in my life but there’s one who’s a stand out. Meet Miranda. She’s the one I can talk to about anything and not worry about judgment or breaching my confidence. She’s the first one I told that I was finally starting this exciting/scary new experience of writing a blog. And she’s the one I reached out to when I almost changed my mind and debated quitting before I even started.

Over the 12+ years that Miranda and I have been friends, we’ve given each other honest advice, been present for pretty much all of each other’s big life moments and believed in the other when we didn’t believe in ourselves.

And then today she came to my house with her make up trunk (literally, it’s a trunk!) and said “Let’s take some pictures for your new blog!” She did my make up, gave me advice on what to wear, was patient through all my “wardrobe changes” and roasted her ass off in my backyard with me while she took picture after picture until we both felt good about the shots she took.

Sometimes friendship looks like a phone call or a lunch date or drinks and dancing or watching a movie. Sometimes it means sharing hard stuff about your kids, sharing your fears that you’re totally shitting the bed at this whole parenting thing or sharing an appetizer and talking about how you hope to age like J-Lo. And sometimes it looks like showing up at your friend’s house with a make up trunk. But it’s mostly about just showing up.

You will likely hear way more about Miranda in future blog posts as she’s a big part of my life and features in some of my favourite memories. And while I agree with Big Al about quarters over pennies, to me, friendship like this one is priceless.