Memories are like antiques; the older they are the more valuable they become.
Marinela Reka
It’s funny how core memories can sneak up on you at the strangest times. Case in point: yesterday I pulled into my driveway after a pretty full day of running errands. As I put the car into park and prepared to open my door, a saying popped into my head out of nowhere.
“Back home again the same day.”
This is a saying that my dad would use every time we had a full day out together as a family. Whether it be coming back from a baseball game, after a road trip or upon return from visiting family, he would pull in the driveway, shut the car off and inevitably share this saying.
As a kid, I never really thought much about it. It was just a dad-ism, similar to “our last name is Robertson not Rockefeller” when we requested pricey items. Or “I know we paid the electric bill” when we would go through the house leaving the lights on. But this one saying about returning to the place we spent most of our time is the one that came flooding back to me yesterday.
One of the many great things about having a sibling is that you can test your memory on them. They shared many of the same experiences growing up and are the ones who can validate our memories, filling in the murky, gray parts that inevitably creep in over time.
Once Dad’s saying popped into my head, my first reaction was to text my brother.
I was so happy to know that my brother also remembered the saying because it meant 2 things:
(1) my recall is still in tact
(2) it represents a shared core memory, one that seemed so mundane at the time but obviously made an impact on both of us.
It’s often said that as we get older, we can become more like our parents. This is validated by the fact my brother has uttered dad’s phrase to his own family. Similar to what our reactions were at their ages, my niece and nephew were left wondering what those words even mean. And in all fairness, it has taken me well into my 40’s to fully understand the importance and meaning of that one simple line.
So what did it mean when my dad would announce that we were in fact back home again the same day? The teenage version of me interpreted it at face value. We had indeed left and returned to the same place within the same day. Big deal. The 40’s version of me, however, understands that it means so much more.
It means that we were fortunate to return home safely. It means that no matter how busy or hectic things get out in the world, home is the place we can return to for shelter and solace. It means that no matter how fun our day was, home is the place for which we should be most grateful. It’s the place where we can always return, reflect on where we’ve been and what we’ve done. It’s the place where we can dream about what adventures are still yet to come.
I’ve been pulling into the same driveway for 18 years and I have no idea why yesterday was the day this saying came to mind. Perhaps I needed a reminder of the real meaning behind such a simple phrase. Whatever the reason, I am grateful for such a simple but impactful core memory, one shared between siblings 30+ years later.
The next time you pull in your driveway after a long, busy, stressful or fun-filled day, I encourage you to take a minute. Soak it all in. Before you grab the grocery bags, wrangle up the kids or get your house key out. Take a minute to be grateful that you have arrived back home again the very same day.
