Family traditions help us define who we are; they provide something steady, reliable and safe in a confusing world.
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As my boys get older, one thing I struggle with is holiday traditions. Which ones should I continue? Which ones should I accept they’ve outgrown and put them in the memory bank instead of trying to recreate them, much to my family’s chagrin?
When the boys were little, we had simple traditions around pretty much every holiday. For Valentine’s, we’d make heart shaped pancakes and bake cupcakes. For Easter an egg hunt, for Mother’s Day an annual picture. Halloween meant the Pumpkin Patch and Christmas wasn’t Christmas without driving by the Falls to see the lights.
We loved doing all those things. And they seem to have whizzed by in the blink of an eye. What no one warns you about is that you never know when it’ll be the last time. You won’t suspect that it’s the last time your heart shaped cookie cutter will make it out of the drawer. You won’t realize it’ll be the last time you have to write down where you hid the eggs so you’ll remember when to say “hot” or “cold.” And you won’t know when you’ve enjoyed your last hay ride as a family.
My boys are 16. They have their driver’s licenses. They have jobs. They aren’t little boys anymore. But they are still my loves.
So in celebration of Valentine’s Day, I wanted to do something to show them that no matter how big they get, that love will never change. So I baked the cupcakes.
My day was made when one of them offered “your cupcakes are always fire, Mom” (which is a good thing 😊) and the other acknowledged how I always remember to leave a few cupcakes plain because that’s how he likes them.
In the midst of them being busy living their lives, growing up and changing, those core memories will sometimes rise to the surface in the simplest of moments. And even though they may not verbally express it, there is undoubtedly some degree of comfort in the safety and familiarity of simple family traditions.
Mamas, if your littles are now big and you aren’t sure how to acknowledge special occasions, my advice is simple: if you want to continue the traditions, then that’s exactly what you should do. Make the cupcakes. Dip the strawberries. Buy the cards.
Most of it is for them but a small part, an important part, is all for you. And that’s worth celebrating.
